Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
