The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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