my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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