help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
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That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
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On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize