I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
