On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize