Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
