There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Randomize
