If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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