And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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