We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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