I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
