i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
