Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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