I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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