I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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