How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
