Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
