Where is the hickey?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize