If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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