hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
