Grow some girl-balls and come out already
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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