I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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