I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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