His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i think i have two assholes
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
