I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
