It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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