I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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