Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize