they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
