hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Randomize
