who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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