FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
