Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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