This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
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Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
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Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
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