I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
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