i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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