he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can I color on your dick again?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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