Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
