Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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