rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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