Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
