My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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