Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize