new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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