Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
accomplished twins. life is a go
i love accidental penises.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
