The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
