Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
