what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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