i may or may not be watching the land before time
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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