good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
