Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
