Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Never let your siblings swipe right.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize