I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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