took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
