I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
