this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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