Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This toilet bowl is my home.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
