i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Randomize
