If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
