I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
