Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Everyone says I win the strip club
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
